Life can be tricky.
Sometimes we know what is we want, but don’t have a clue how to get there. Other times, we have no idea what the fuck we are supposed to do with our precious time given to us on earth. Then, finally, we feel we have achieved our calling– figured out what it is we are meant to do. Only to wake up one day and realize this “isn’t me” at all.
Life is funny like that. All the moments are just pieces to a puzzle leading and navigating you along the way to your true calling, but sometimes being stuck in fear and looking in the wrong directions can cause us to become stressed about how to move forward.
I know this all too well. It has been my life for the past four to five months.
Some of you may recall In August I decided to leave my teaching job in Korea due to mental health reasons and to pursue my true dreams of becoming a Naturopathic doctor. For those of you who are unaware, a naturopathic doctor is a doctor that treats patients on a holistic level providing natural modalities to heal the patient. I decided to pursue this path because I have an affinity for health and helping those in the community heal and be their own hero– hence the name of the blog lol.
Apprehensive and anxious i decided to pursue my journey to become a naturopathic doctor. To accomplish this dream it required me to take a year of science prerequisites then apply to one of the seven naturopathy schools for a duration of four years. Amounting to a whopping five years. Although, the timing was dreadful, after all, who wants to go to school for 5 years at the age of 25, not me! But, then i remembered that those 5 years were going to pass anyway and I might as well be doing something i love.
So I came back to my alma mater Florida State University to complete the year of science perquisites. I was excited and truly felt I was on the right track to fulfilling my destiny. Let me clarify, my dream is to one day own a wellness center that addresses all of the client’s health concerns. it will be a one-stop shop. So let’s say, you come in with a skin care concern you will be seen by a naturopathic doctor/herbalist/functional medicine doctor to address the root cause. Then based on the protocol that is given you will be able to be seen by our esthetician and even have access to steam rooms, saunas, hydrotherapy, and other treatments.
I thought the one way to accomplish this monumental dream was to become a naturopathic doctor.
[su_quote]Being back these past few months have taught me a lot about the beauty of the uncertainty in life. And that there are “jewels” in the shape of people, recurrent numbers, strangers helping you to reach your end goal.[/su_quote]
These past few months in school have been stressful. I really have to commend science majors, because it is A LOT of hard work– it was by far the most challenging courses i have ever taken. I was determined to get to my end goal of becoming a naturopathic doctor or so i thought.
God planting Omens in my Path
One day, my best friend Christina called me, she always has my best interest in heart. So I was totally receptive when she shared her honest opinion about my journey to naturopathy school. She felt that medical school would be a better path because I could help change the system of healthcare. Also, be able to spread the natural healing process more effectively by being a medical doctor. Honestly, what she said stuck, but i did have some apprehensions about medical school.
- are doctors open to different healing approaches? Would I get blacklisted for offering an alternative solution?
- Would i thoroughly enjoy the practice of medicine?
- Was I equipped enough to actually be a medical doctor?
- Did I really want to go to school for eight long years?
So, I did the next best thing, I sought out medical doctors and students and begin interviewing them about their experience. My goal was to figure out the “right” route i was supposed to take, but all it did was confuse me even more. Every day, I pleaded with God to bring me some sort of clarity, was i meant to pursue the unknowns of naturopathy, was I suppose to be an integrative doctor, acupuncturist or medical doctor. I just did not know! Every day, i talked about it with my close friends and boyfriend hoping they could shed some light on what it was i was meant to do all to no avail.
Remembering what I love
Until one day my friend Jennise accompanied me to get a facial. Jennise is my soul sister her spirit a reflection of my own. She’s interested in becoming an esthetician and on that day she had a tour with Aveda ( the beauty school) she asked if i wanted to join. I decided to tag along and it was A DREAM. The therapeutic environment was inviting. I was in awe of watching the people get facials and seeing the students engrossed in learning how to do it.
This experience reminded me of my first love, skin care. Skincare has always been my first love since I was a little girl. I wanted to pursue skincare but always felt like my skin wasn’t perfect enough to be an esthetician, but that was then and this was now. It definitely left an imprint to potentially pursuing esthiology. Still, I knew i needed to couple that with a deeper healing technique to address real issues lying in the body. Which brought me back to the mental fight of which path was best.
Another friend suggested I make a pro’s and con’s list of going to naturopathy school. After listing out the pros and cons i had a strong inkling that I’d come out regretting having had gone to naturopathy school. Let’s be real, I didn’t want to struggle for another 4 years and live off of loans to fund myself through and medical school was a hard no for me.
I wanted to help people and I wanted to help them now! I knew there had to be a better alternative suited for my journey.
one night upon researching I came across clinical herbalism which proved to be very similar to naturopathy sans the formal doctor title, 100,000 in loans, and the use of technical terminology. Clinical herbalism is, using the appropriate herbal protocols and natural products to support and rebalance the body and restore vitality for general health and well being.
It made sense to take this path; herbalism meshes well with my goas. And while i feel like i let those down who were expecting me to become a doctor; personally it wasn’t plausible for me to take that route. I had to give myself a reality check, that this path is my own. And at the age of 25, of course, I don’t know what hell I’m doing! I’m just navigating the world like everyone else.
What I’m saying is, all of this happened because it was meant to. It was meant for me to come back to my alma mater because while naturopathy wasn’t the path for me I wasn’t too far off from my true calling: becoming a clinical herbalist possibly coupled with esthiology
So to those of you who are figuring out your life’s journey, as I believe is a constant thing we all are doing.
A path is a track laid down to walk on. A path implies there’s only one way, a preconceived singular course. Well, guess what? there is no such thing as ONE path. There are infinite routes to a satisfying, uplifting, life. Whatever decision you make—and have made before—you’re on the right path. It’s all “the path.” Stand gleefully in the confusion because the only way not to be confused is to get through the uncertainty. The feeling of the unknown is just a part of it.
As always, honor yourself, your intuition, and flow with the current of life, not against it.
A strong thank you to those who played a part in helping me figure things out, whether you knew it or not. Thank you to the love of my life: my boyfriend, my best friend Christina, soul sister Jennise, and friend Vyse and many others who offered encouraging advice and support. Love you guys!